To Resist Love
by 6pathsOfPain
Summary: Naruto has his boyfriend, job and everything he could dream of. But when someone dark-haired from his past arrives he begins to doubt. Memories comes back and how is it even possible to resist someone that he loves? Maincouple: Sainaru.
1. Surprises

**Yay! First chapter uploaded after a break with Christmas and New Year. I hope you'll like it and like I always says: review if you want to! **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 1: Surprises

The telephone rang. The signal was heard all over the office and the guy in the room sighed. It must be the ten-thousand time this day. The blond guy spun around in his chair and took the telephone in his right hand.

"Hello, Naruto here."

"I pick you up tonight, 8 o'clock. Wear something nice."

Naruto knew who it was exactly and didn't need a presentation. He could almost see the black-haired man in front of him, holding his mobile in his left pale hand.

"It seems that you have something really nice in your head," Naruto said and draw small figures with an ink-pencil on a blank paper. It looked like figures that a six year old kid had paint; Naruto had always been bad at painting.

"See you later then… I'm working late so we won't meet up till we're on the re… I mean the meeting-place."

"Seems good to me, the longer you wait the more…"

"I have to go now, Naruto." The man sighed, but on a positive way. The positive sigh Naruto loved to hear.

"Love you." Naruto painted a heart on the paper. Then he accidentally drew a black, evil line in the middle of the heart. "Fuck!" Naruto said, a little too loud. He heard another sigh, and this sigh could describe in words. 'You're so clumsy, Naruto.'

"Love you too, Naruto. You know it."

Naruto put down the phone when the other had ended the call. How is it possible to love someone so much?

He gazed out through the big windows. It was three big ones and it took over a whole wall. The view was amazing and you could see the entire city through those windows. To the left there were two bookcases and they were followed by one big white sofa. Then the door came.

Once upon a time a man walked through it, a pale black-haired man. It was definitely love at first sight.

Six months later Naruto sat in this room and thought of the love he felt for that man. Could it be so simple to find the love? Just wait some years and then the love wandered through a door and there it was?

To the right of the door there was a big flower bouquet on a table. The red roses concealed the table, but Naruto saw it because he knew that it was there. On one rose there was a little card, those small cards that you often see in a flower shop on the desk. It stood ten words there: 'Thank you for the moving, I love you, my Sunshine.'

Naruto's boyfriend didn't talk as much as he, but the words and the paintings he put down on papers were more worth the words you say. It was just indescribable.

On the walls in their house it hung a lot of paintings. And that meant a lot. Two dozens of them were with Naruto on, and Naruto's favourite was the one that hung over the fireplace. It was them, in the sun, standing in the ocean. They were on their first vacation together and it was then the love had blossomed. It was then they had said what they felt.

On the walls in the office it hung diplomas. On one of them it stood "for the best business-man". It was three and a half years ago, when he had been the boss for one year. The company had gone really well that year; everyone said that it was because of him. One thing he remembered from that year was that he waited on the love. He was lonely then, but not now.

"Things have changed," he said loud to himself. He took a look at the clock that hung on the right wall.

Four o'clock. The week was finally at an end. He stood up, turned off the computer and took his jacket from the chair. He walked toward the door and opened. Then the blond boy looked up. He gazed out through the windows. The birds flied in the wind and enjoyed the sunshine. Naruto walked out from the office, smiling, and closed the door.

"See you tomorrow," he said to his secretary.

"Yes, good-bye," Sakura answered. She waved and looked down at the computer again. Naruto walked toward the elevator. Finally he was going home. But, he remembered, he was going home to change and then leave again. He didn't have time to do anything else. What was the plan?

The elevator doors opened and Naruto walked toward the big glass doors. The sun dazzled him when he was outside the big building. He waved at a taxi that drove to him. Naruto sat in the car and told the driver where he wanted to go. He straightened the black tie and pulled his fingers through the blond hair.

The doorbell rang. Naruto ran from the bedroom and took a quick look in the mirror. The orange shirt fit him perfect and the black tie made him content.

He opened the door and a man in a suit stood in front of him. But it wasn't the right person; instead there was a tall man in a suit.

"Are you Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Yes, that's me," Naruto answered.

"I'll drive you to the meeting-place. Please come with me."

Naruto thought that this was a little weird but he couldn't stop looking on the limousine that stood parked on the driveway. It's not everyday when you have a ride in a limousine. He took his jacket and locked the door. He followed the tall man to the limousine. The driver opened it and Naruto stepped inside. It was getting dark outside and it was a little cold. Naruto froze but he got warm as soon he was in the car. It laid a red rose on the seat and Naruto took it in his hands and he felt the smell of it. The smells captured him, it smelt like love.

The car started to drive away from the house and after a couple of minutes, maybe ten, it slowed down and finally stopped. Naruto looked out through the right window and saw the big city in front of him. There was a street, which was empty tonight. There was a pair of big glass doors too and above them a sign with the name 'Two hearts'. It was the best restaurant in Konoha.

Naruto walked out from the car and straightened the tie. He was still holding the rose in his hand. The driver pointed his finger to the glass doors and walked in to the car again. He left Naruto on the street. Naruto walked towards the doors, a woman opened it for him. The inside of the restaurant was silent and romantic. There were candles everywhere and red roses of course. There weren't so many people in the restaurant so more than half of the tables were without people.

"Are you Naruto Uzumaki?" A man in tuxedo appeared. He had a white towel in his armpit.

"Yes, that's me," Naruto answered and realized that he always answered with the same words.

"Then follow me." Naruto followed the man and saw his boyfriend sitting at a table. The man walked away when his job was done. Naruto's boyfriend looked up and waited on the kiss he would get on the mouth.

"Finally you're here," Sai said and got a kiss on the mouth. Tonight he had chosen his purple shirt with a pair of black pants and a black jacket.

"I thought I couldn't endure the hours of waiting." Naruto sat on the chair and laid the rose on the table.

"How was your day then, Sunshine?" Sai hold the menu in his hands. His black eyes read the text but his ears focused on Naruto's voice.

"Fine, but it was a little boring. I had too much paperwork to deal with. What about yours?" Naruto said.

"I got a call today," Sai said and put down the menu on the table. "It was the famous artist, Deidara." Naruto lifted his eyebrows in surprise. Deidara was a really famous artist.

"What did he want?"

"I can't believe it yet, Naruto. He wanted to see my paintings in Iwagakure!" Sai smiled big and the happiness spread all over his face.

"No way, that's incredible!" Naruto stood up and gave Sai a big hug. "I always knew that something big was going to happen." He pulled his hand over Sai's head and played with the short hair. This big news was what Sai wanted, and needed.

Naruto sat on his chair again and looked at the waiter who came. Sai and Naruto ordered some delicious food and the waiter walked away again. Ten minutes later he came back and served them the food.

"Thanks for the fast delivery," Naruto said and took his fork in his left hand.

"Well, we don't have so many customers today. That's what you guys ordered." The waiter walked away for the second time and Naruto and Sai began to eat.

"Did you really fix that too?" Naruto asked after he swallowed.

"Yes. For us," Sai said and raised his champagne. Naruto raised his glass too.

"For us."

The sound of two glasses that clinked heard around the big room. A band stood on the scene and started to play some classic music. The violin's sound made the mood romantic. The song that came from the singer made the two persons look deep in each others eyes.

"Sai…" Naruto said and took his boyfriend's hand in his. The skin was pale, almost white, like a paper.

The eyes were black, like ink, and the lips were like sand.

"Naruto, you remember this day for three years ago?"

"Yes, the day when the accident happened. The fourteenth July."

"I haven't thanked you enough for the help you gave me." Sai smiled and looked down at the rose that lay on the table.

"You don't need to thank me," Naruto said. "After everything you have done for me you don't need to "pay back"."

"If you say so, my Sunshine. But at least I can do this..." Sai said and grabbed something in his pocket. Naruto looked curiously at him. After three seconds he understood what was happening.

"Naruto, do you want to live the rest of your beautiful life with me?" Sai hold a little, black box in his hands. Inside the box there was a golden ring with a blue sapphire. Naruto smiled, this was a dream. It couldn't be true. Then he remembered that Sai asked a question and he awakened again.

"Yes." Naruto stood up and crouched beside Sai.

"Well, we have to do this in the opposite way," Sai said and laughed at the little joke he had just said.

"It will be perfect," Naruto mumbled and looked at Sai who took the ring in his hand and took Naruto's hand in the other. He put the ring on Naruto's left hands ring finger. Then the two persons kissed each other.

_Flashback_

Naruto woke up. He opened his eyes and lifted his right arm and laid it on the double bed's right side. Sai was gone. Maybe he stood downstairs and painted. Naruto heard the raindrops that dripped on the roof. He stood up and walked towards the windows and took away the curtains. The sky was crying. Naruto walked toward the stairs and walked down. He did almost fall on the last step but hold the handrail in his left hand. Like Sai had told him. Naruto admitted that he was clumsy. He took a fast look at the right side were the paint-room was. But Sai wasn't there. He looked everywhere in the house and looked at last in the kitchen. A post-it tag laid on the dinner-table.

"I'm in the store and buy ink," Naruto mumbled for himself when he read the text. Then the phone rang. Naruto sighed.

"Naruto and Sai's," Naruto answered.

"Hello, I'm calling from the hospital." Naruto stood still and didn't move, he did almost forget to breath. He could feel the coldness from the phone and it reached his hand. Something wasn't like it should be.

"What has happened?"

"Your boyfriend has been in an accident. Sai."

Naruto dropped the phone. It smashed on the floor and so did Naruto. He hit his head in the nearest chair. He tried to reach a chair and grabbed it, but he lost his grab and the result was a fallen chair and a fallen boy.

"Fuck," Naruto said and felt on his head. A nice swelling was appearing. He stood up and raised the chair. Then he took up the phone and laid the broken thing on the table. He ran up to the bedroom and changed clothes at the same time as his stomach talked in a hungrily way. He fixed his hair a little, which was the same thing as to take away the hairs that was hiding the blue eyes. He ran down again but this time to the hallway. He took his car-, and house key and closed the door behind him, then he walked out to the gray day. But it didn't rain now. He hid one of the keys under the carpet after he locked the door, and stamped on the carpet so the bump was well hidden. He walked toward the garage and opened the carport. In the darkness he could barely see a car but walked toward it. Sai didn't let Naruto to take the car usually; Naruto was a danger for the traffic. But it was an emergency now and no one could drive him to the hospital. He opened the door and sat in the driver seat. Put in the key and started the car. He drove out from the garage and left the gray house behind him.

After twenty minutes Naruto arrived to the hospital. He almost ran to the reception and didn't care about the humans that stood in his way. He hadn't time to say 'excuse me' or 'sorry'. He must see Sai, and that meant soon.

"Where's Sai?" Naruto asked, almost aggressive. Aggressive like he needed to fight for Sai's survival. The nurse seemed to knew Naruto and Sai were.

"He's in room thirty-four on the third floor. But I don't know if you can see him right now. Maybe you should sit down and relax a little bit…" A little, short woman sat on a chair behind an old computer. Her brown eyes looked at Naruto.

"I must know how he is," Naruto interrupted the woman. "I don't care if _I'm_ not okay." Then he headed to the elevators. The corridor was empty and luckily the elevators were empty too. Naruto pushed on the button and the doors opened and answered with a sound that sounded like a doorbell. He walked inside the elevator and felt that he was moving upward.

The doorbell sounded again and the doors opened. Two doctors came in and Naruto walked out from the elevator. He looked around and did just see gray, long corridors with two plants and some chairs. Naruto looked at the nearest door, number twelve. He took the right way and looked at another door, and the luck was with him again because the door had the number thirteen. All the rooms were empty in this corridor but when he was at the door with the number thirty the rooms wasn't empty anymore. An old lady lay in a bed and she was sweating, maybe she had pain. An alarm started to peep. Three staff came to a door in the near and ran inside. But it wasn't the room Naruto was looking after. He walked four meters and stopped. Looked at the doors sign, it was the door. Naruto took a deep breath and walked inside the room. Without to close the door, he walked toward the bed. He looked at Sai who was whiter so his skin was almost turned into a gray colour. His eyes were closed and the hands lay beside his body. The black hair surrounded the head. Naruto played with the hair and caressed Sai's cheek. Sai's chest rose every time he took a breath but then the regular breaths stopped. Sai opened his eyes and looked around. He looked at Naruto.

"Where am I?" he asked confused.

"You're at the hospital," Naruto answered and took a chair that stood behind him. He pulled it closer to the bed and sat on it. He took Sai's hand and warmed it because it was cold.

"Oh," Sai said and sighed. "It hurts."

"What hurts?" Naruto asked and looked at Sai's face that was turned into a painful and confused expression.

"I don't know really, maybe it doesn't hurt." Sai moved one of his hands and felt on his forehead. He had a deep wound there and he moved the hand as soon as he felt the pain crawl under it.

"You don't know if it hurts or not?" Naruto asked confused.

"No, I don't feel anything."

"Well, it's good that you don't feel pain anyway," Naruto said happily and smiled. Sai answered with one of his amazing smiles that always made Naruto weak in his legs.

Then he heard someone that came in to the room. He turned around in the chair and saw a doctor standing in the doorway. She had two blond ponytails that lay on the shoulders and like all the other doctors, she had a white rock. A smiling was appearing, like all people do when they meets a new person.

"Hello, I'm Tsunade. I suppose you are Naruto Uzumaki?" Tsunade and Naruto shook hands.

"That's me."

"I'm glad that you arrived so soon, so I can tell both of you what's happened just one time." Tsunade walked toward the bed and stood near the windows. She held a journal in her hands and she looked at once seriously.

"A car crash can be very dangerous for the whole body. If you don't crack your head you will crack something else. In this case, the spinal crack. Completely. We tried to fix the most of the damage and that mean we bandaged your back hard so the spinal can be fixed a little and don't heal on the wrong way. When the spinal cord breaks completely you can have an injury that is called Spinal Cord Injury, SCI. It can cause many things and one of them is paralysis." Tsunade caught her breath and waited for the two persons to understand what she had told them.

"And that's what I got," Sai mumbled. His black eyes got sad and his hands held the blanket hard. "That's why I don't feel anything in my legs."

"Yes." The three persons got quiet.

"Can you give us some minutes for ourselves?" Naruto asked when he saw how near Sai was for an explosion.

"Of course," Tsunade said and closed the door behind her. The room got quiet and the two people tried to understand everything.

"I can't believe this is happening," Sai said and broke the silence. He looked out through the windows and let the afternoon sun warm his face.

"I can't believe it either." Naruto changed the way he sat. Let the hands lie on the knees.

"But we have too. After all, our lives are changed now." Sai looked at Naruto. "We have to change everything. We have to move for an example."

"Yes, except your job." Naruto found some optimism.

"You will be with me, right?" Sai got worried.

"Of course I will, I love you." Naruto stood up and gave Sai a kiss on the forehead. "I will be with you for ever and ever."


	2. He

**The second chapter is out, a good one too! Thank to you that reviewed the last chaper, and to you that didn't: it's mean a lot. Well...enjoy the angst! **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 2: He 

"Good morning, Sunshine."

Naruto opened his eyes and blinked a few times. Right in front of him was Sai. His blue eyes met the black ones.

"Hey," Naruto said and yawned. He turned around and lay on the back. He closed his eyes for a while but opened them when he remembered. "When will you leave?" He looked up in the roof.

"About three hours… so we have some time left to be together." Sai smiled his amazing smile.

"I know something we can do," Naruto mumbled and moved over to Sai. He kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.

"It sounds like something good…" Sai whispered and answered Naruto kiss. His hands moved to Naruto's back. Naruto kissed him. Moved his hands to Sai's head and kissed the neck. Sai had his eyes closed and enjoyed the moment.

"Do you still want to continue?" Naruto asked flattering and he surrounded his fingers in Sai's short, black hair.

"If I do." Sai could feel the warmth that spread over his entire body. Naruto continued his kisses and took of Sai's shirt. Then he moved, like a snake, but held Sai's head in his hands. He moved the sheets and one of his legs and sat up, on Sai. He moved his hand and caressed Sai's bare torso. He kissed him on the bare skin.

"It's just one thing that isn't clear to me," Naruto said. He kissed Sai, for a really long moment. He ended the kiss when his lungs called for air. "Why is my engagement ring so different from others?"

"Are you disappointed?" Sai wide-opened his eyes. Naruto smiled.

"Of course not, I just wonder." Sai caressed Naruto's legs.

"I wanted that the ring would have the colors that you have. The gold is for your hair," Sai said and played with his fingers in Naruto's hair. "And the blue is for your eyes." Sai kissed Naruto's eyelid.

"So, do you want to go further?" Naruto looked on his ring and he knew that this was typical Sai. He is always working more than he has to. Naruto kissed Sai and then sat up straight. His hands still lay on Sai's torso.

"You know that we can't," Sai said and turned his head so he didn't see Naruto's disappointed face. He took one of Naruto's hands in his right hand but lost it just one second after.

"Sorry. I didn't think clear," Naruto moved and took of his legs from Sai and stood up.

"It's alright, it's my fault." Sai sat up and looked at Naruto, who walked out from the room.

Sai moved over from the bed to the wheelchair and put on his shirt. He rolled out from the room and continued to the kitchen. He came into the room with light-blue walls and white furniture. The phone lay on the table and rang.

"Hello," Sai said. He looked out from the kitchen and searched after Naruto with his black eyes. Naruto wasn't there.

"I think he is," Sai answered Minato's question and cried after Naruto.

"I'm coming!" Naruto ran toward the kitchen, his wet hair waved in the air. He had been in the bathroom and taken a shower. He took the phone in his hand when he arrived.

"Hello dad." Naruto looked at Sai and made a grimace. Naruto and Minato was almost too like each other. Minato was like an older Naruto.

"Naruto, they can come over here after I'm home again," Sai suggested. "Then we can tell them the big news."

"That's sounds really good," Naruto said and put the phone near his ear again. Minato's talk must have ended now. "Hey, dad, why don't you and mom come over here on Saturday?" He nodded and made a thumb-up at Sai. Then he ended the call.

"He _can_ talk," Naruto said.

"Didn't he stop talking?"

"No," Naruto said. "He said that we must have something big to tell them and then he started to talk with mom and the best time to stop the call is then." Sai laughed.

"You really know how you can make my mood better," Sai said and rolled out from the kitchen.

Naruto walked toward the fridge and took out the milk. He walked toward a cupboard and took out the cereals. He took two bowls and two spoons. He placed everything on the table. He went to the hall and opened the front door. The newspaper lay on the asphalt. He took it up and looked at the front page. Someone had written on it. It stood 'Soon' with a red color. Naruto scratched his head and closed the door behind him. He laid the newspaper on the kitchen table when he arrived to the kitchen. Sai was already sitting at the table.

"Is it okay when people write on the newspaper?" Naruto asked. Sai raised one eyebrow and took the paper in his hands.

"Of course not, but does it disturb you that it says 'Soon' on it?" Sai said amusing. Naruto didn't answer and sat on a chair.

"I won't argue with you."

"I'm fine to hear that, but I assume that I won then," Sai said and hide behind the newspaper when Naruto threw a slice of bread on him. They laughed.

"Warning, prepare for bread," Naruto said and continued to laugh. "They're dangerous and can kill you." He took a look at the watch that hung on the light blue wall. Two hours left. Sai looked at the same watch and laid the newspaper on the table. He drank the last of his coffee and placed the mug on the table.

"I'll miss you, Sunshine," Sai said. "Two days will be much time without you." He met Naruto's eyes.

"I'll miss you too. But when you come back you'll never be without me. You'll be tired of me." Naruto took Sai's hand and gave it a kiss. "And…this is what you've wanted, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. I have everything I wants right now. I feel a little bit spoiled."

"Yes, you're spoiled. You sit all day," Naruto said and looked at his boyfriend's wheelchair.

"Okay, not really_ spoiled._ I don't think anyone that sits in a wheelchair feels lucky."

Sai understood what Naruto meant. "But I need to prepare for my trip now. I don't have time to sit and discuss with you all day," he said and rolled out from the room. Naruto fixed the dishes and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. A couple of minutes later Naruto walked to the bedroom. Sai packed a big, black bag.

"How do you pack your paintings?" Naruto asked and started to fix the bed. One of the sides, Naruto's, was messier than Sai's side.

"Well, you have a few benefits to know a famous artist. Deidara said that he'll fix it."

"So he sent someone to pick up the paintings?" Naruto took his black pants from the chair beside the closet and put them on.

"Exactly, the driver will fix it." Naruto walked toward his fiancé after he put on his orange shirt. The same that he had yesterday. His birthday gift from Sai.

"I hope that you'll look exactly like you do now when I'm back. But I guess you'll always be beautiful."

Naruto blushed, how many times hadn't he heard that he was beautiful?

"I wished that I could say the same thing," Naruto said. "But I can't see your face because of the light that comes from the diamonds in your eyes."

"I can tell you that I'm smiling."

"Well, do you have any suggestions for the wedding?" Naruto asked excited.

"Let's say it like this: as soon as possible and far away on our honeymoon?"

"Did you read my thoughts?" Naruto didn't have any problem with Sai's ideas. It was the ideas that he had. Exactly the same.

Sai rolled out from the room and Naruto walked after him. He looked at his wristwatch. Eleven o'clock. Naruto sighed. The days of waiting and restlessness were at their beginning now.

A car arrived outside the house on the driveway. Naruto looked at Sai; who was ready to leave. The driver rang on the door and Sai opened the door. The tall man in suit walked inside and walked toward the room that Sai pointed to.

"I'll miss you, Sunshine."

"Oh, stop saying that. You'll have a great time."

"I think so. But I have forgotten to thank you for what you've done. It hadn't been any paintings without you."

"I hope the people likes my body," Naruto said and began to blush. He wouldn't be there, luckily. It would be to embarrassing with all the questions.

"I promise you that they like_ almost_ as much as I like it," Sai said but then he was serious again. "I love you, Naruto." The driver came again, but this time with strange bags with paintings inside.

"I love you too, good-bye." Naruto gave Sai a good-bye kiss. Sai took his bag in his lap and then rolled out from their house.

"Good-bye, Naruto." The moment was almost sad; the two men had tears in their eyes. Naruto knew that he would see Sai soon and didn't need to wait so very long. It was just that they hadn't been apart once since they became a couple. They were only apart when Naruto needed to go to his work.

They did the most of the thing together, an example was the shopping.

Naruto remembered that the fridge was almost empty.

"Lucky me," Naruto said for himself, tried to break the silence. Who wants to shop food on a Saturday?

It was sunny outside and he didn't take any jacket because it was summer. It was too hot outside. Naruto took his wallet from a table in the hall and walked out in the sunshine. The car that stood on the driveway drove away and Naruto saw Sai wave to him. Naruto raised his arm and waved back. He locked the door and put the keys in his pocket. He started to walk to the store that lay a few streets away. He did always enjoy walking in the mornings. It was a perfect way to wake up and start the day.

Naruto opened the glass doors and walked inside the little store. He didn't know what to buy, but maybe he would come up with an idea when he walked along the shelves. He took one of the shopping baskets that stood placed exactly inside the store. He began to walk forward and took a strange bread loaf with nuts and fruits. He saw someone standing at the vegetables. Someone really dark. Then he turned to right and realized who it was. He walked faster and hid behind some shelves. Then he looked, cautiously at the same person again. It was _him_. He stopped to look because _he_ could notice that Naruto stared at him. Naruto took a deep breath and walked from his hiding place. He hurried and almost ran to the milk. He felt the adrenaline pump in his blood.

"So, you weren't going to say hi?" Naruto stopped to walk and began to froze, or did he sweat? He didn't want to turn around but he couldn't ignore him. Naruto made his decision and turned around, prepared to meet him.

"Of course," Naruto answered and met the black eyes. Sasuke was as skinny as he always had been and his face looked exactly the same. He did just look older, but nothing was changed. "What are you doing here?" Sasuke looked scary, cold as ice. He didn't smile; his face was expressionless.

"I wanted to visit my old home," Sasuke said. "And check out how it goes for my old classmates." He came closer to Naruto and they were now standing in front of each other. Naruto tried to be brave and didn't want to shove that he was afraid. "But I can see that you're still living here."

"Yes, I have everything I need and want here. I don't see any reasons to move."

"Like I had." Naruto looked into the black eyes. He could see something inside them, was it grief?

"So, how long will you stay?" Naruto asked, tried to be friendly.

"Just a few days. Perhaps we meet each other again," Sasuke said and walked away. Naruto followed him with his eyes. He turned around and continued his shopping when his old classmate walked out from the store.

The situation had been strange; he hadn't thought that he would meet someone he hates today. It had been years ago since they saw each other. Naruto had felt the same feelings today as he did for more than five years ago. Five years ago when his life turned upside-down in just a few minutes.

**_Flashback_**

It was an ordinary winter-day. The snow fell from the gray skies and landed on the ground that soon was covered with the frozen raindrops. It was an ordinary school day. It was holiday soon, filled with the Christmas and the New Year. Everyone in the entire school would enjoy the holiday with their family and friends.

"Naruto." The blond boy looked up from the white ground and met a pair of black eyes. He hugged the dark-haired boy hard.

"Sasuke," he said. "You're finally back!" The warmth of happiness spread inside him.

"Hn. I missed you, Sunshine." Naruto stopped him from talking more, he kissed him. The snow was still falling from the sky, but more slowly. Sasuke held Naruto's head in his hands and he was still holding it when they stopped kissing. His laid his forehead against Naruto's. His fingers were surrounded by the golden hair.

"I want this to last longer but I guess that we're late," Naruto said and took one of Sasuke's hands in one of his and they walked toward the school entrance. They went to their locker, first Sasuke's and then Naruto's. Naruto took of his mittens, and then his jacket. Sasuke stood beside him, beautiful as always even if he had been sick for a whole week.

"Do you have to be so damn beautiful?" Naruto looked up and met Sasuke's eyes.

"Me, beautiful?" Sasuke nodded but then remembered to ask his boyfriend something.

"Naruto, with who are you going to spend the New Years' eve with?"

"With my parents I think, as usually."

I just wonder…do you want to be with me then?" Naruto locked his locker and held his books in his hands.

"That would be great," Naruto answered and smiled big.

"Well, I asked my parents yesterday because I guessed that you wanted to be with me…" Sasuke began to blush. Sasuke and Naruto walked inside their classroom and nodded to the brown-haired teacher instead for saying hi. They sat down at a table, beside each other.

"It was a good idea… What about your brother?" Naruto asked hesitatingly.

"He hasn't been home for weeks. The odds that he would come home on Christmas or New Years' eve are low." Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand. Iruka, their teacher began to talk.

"Thanks, Sasuke." He kissed him on the cheek and he felt that his classmates stared at them.

"Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha," Iruka said. "If you can't stop kiss each other and concentrate I think you must leave."

Naruto moved and sat up properly. He blushed because they were busted.

"That's not necessary, Sensei." Sasuke laid a hand on Naruto's thigh. "We're just happy to see each other again." He smiled his smile that always made people weak in front of him. Naruto laid his hand on Sasuke's.

Iruka nodded and continued his talk about something unimportant. The days before the holidays were always so nice, nothing to do on the lessons and a lot of breaks.

Naruto woke up from his daydreams and looked at the watch that hung over the door. Five minutes left.

"See you tomorrow then, bye." Iruka waved at his students when they left. Naruto took his unnecessary books and walked toward the door with Sasuke's hand still in his.

"Naruto, I want to talk with you." Naruto looked at Sasuke and sighed. Naruto stopped to walk and stood in front of Iruka. "Alone." Iruka looked at Sasuke that waved to him when he left the room.

"What is it?"

"I'm just wondering…is he good for you?" Of course Iruka wanted to ask him about Sasuke. He had always been close to his parents and even closer to Naruto. He could almost be his good-father.

"He's almost too good. He asked me today if I wanted to spend the New Years' eve with him." Iruka wide-opened his eyes.

"So, you aren't the only one that changed." Naruto knew exactly what he talked about, Sasuke had changed to. From a quiet, depressed boy to a romantic and talking person.

"Who are you going to be with Iruka?"

"I've met someone for a while ago and it'll be with him." It was now Naruto's turn to be shocked. Iruka has met someone? And he's gay?

"I'm glad to hear that. Is it someone that I know?" Iruka scratched his neck and then smiled, hesitantly.

"Yes, it's…" Iruka looked out from the open door. A tall man walked inside the classroom. His hair was grey and his eyes had the same color as his hair. Or eye; his right eye was covered. Naruto looked on Iruka again and saw him like he'd never seen him before. He was in love.

"Oh…" Naruto said. "But I think I must leave know." Naruto walked fast out from the room and ran into Sasuke that stood in the near.

"What did he tell you?" he asked curiously. His eyes sparkled.

"You know, Sasuke. Our teacher is in love."

"Weird." Sasuke made a grimace. They sat down on a bench in the corridor, waiting for the school to end. But it wasn't so bad; after all, they had each other.

Naruto walked inside the classroom, without Sasuke. Where was he? They hadn't met each other outside the school like they used to do. Naruto hadn't got his morning kiss today.

"Good-morning, Naruto," Iruka said when Naruto came in. Naruto looked up from the floor and saw that everyone stared at him. He searched for a certain person but didn't find him.

"Hey," was his answer to Iruka. He didn't smile but he didn't show that he was sad. He missed Sasuke. Maybe he got sick again.

Naruto sat down on his chair and had an empty place to his right side.

"Page 312." Naruto looked up again and saw that everyone had their books, except him. Naruto raised his hand in the air.

"Yes, Naruto?"

"I forget my books… can I go and get them?" Iruka nodded and Naruto stood up and walked toward the door. He opened it and left the room. Then he went to his locker and opened it with his key. He felt that someone walked near him and hoped that it was Sasuke. But it wasn't, instead there was a really tall person. He took out his books and closed his locker. He thought of Sasuke every single second. He turned around and got scared. It stood about ten persons around him, formed like a half-moon. They stared at him with their angry and aggressive faces. Naruto saw who they were. Akatsuki. But something wasn't like usual. They had someone new in the gang.

"Sasuke." Naruto held his books hard in his hands. He was their target, like before. The people around them stopped and wanted to find out what was going on. Sasuke walked toward him and stared on him. He was like a new person; Naruto didn't know how it was but he was like his brother. And his big brother was there to, standing almost in the middle of the half-moon. He had the same colors as his little brother; black and black. But his hair was a long pony-tail. He wore a black coat with clouds on and red decorations, just like the others.

"Do you recognize this situation, Naruto?" Sasuke asked. "A lot of persons, everyone looking at you?" He began to smile, mean. Then he grabbed Naruto's neck and Naruto could feel how his lungs called for air. "Do you remember the time when you felt like this before? Alone and helpless?"

"Sasuke," Naruto said with a hoarse voice. Sasuke grabbed his neck harder and began to lift him up from the floor. Naruto dropped his books on the floor. He couldn't breath. Let it stop, he thought. Sasuke hit him in his stomach and then let him fall to the floor. Everything went black and he gasped for air. His legs shook too much so he couldn't stand up, he couldn't do anything. He was down on his knees and supported himself with his hands on the floor. The people around him didn't care, some of them laughed. He saw Akatsuki leaving the building. But he couldn't see any of his classmates in the corridor because they were in the classroom. He needed help, he couldn't breath. He could only let small doses of air in his lungs but it wasn't enough. His neck hurt and sweat dripped from his hair. His legs stopped to shake for a while and he tried to stand up. He took up the books from the floor and began to walk to his classroom. He had to concentrate to breathe all the time. He opened the door and went into the classroom again. Everyone looked at him; they did probably wonder why he was sweaty and why his face was blue.

Iruka saw that nothing was like it should be, he told the people that they could sit and talk with each other. Iruka held a hand on Naruto's back, and that was needed to keep Naruto on his legs. They went out from the room and sat down on a bench outside.

"What happened?" Naruto laid a cold hand on his neck; he tried to take away the pain.

"Akatsuki," was all he could say with his hoarse voice. He tried to blink away the tears that he had in his eyes but he saw Akatsuki in front of him when he closed his eyes. He let the tears fall instead of to see them again.

"Naruto, did they strangle you?" Iruka had seen that Naruto's neck hurt and he had heard his hoarse voice.

"Sasuke did it." Iruka let Naruto fall into his arms. Naruto cried.

"We'll fix this. We did almost succeed the last time."

"No, it's too late. They have Sasuke now, he protected me from them. But he's not here now."

"You have me," Iruka said with a calm voice.

"How can you be so fucking calm, Iruka?" Naruto cried and yelled at the same time. People around them stared but Naruto didn't care. He escaped from Iruka's arms and stood up. "You know how it was the last time and this time will be worse."

"Why will it be worse?" Iruka didn't understand.

"Because I know how love feels now and I know what I'm going to feel." Iruka didn't answer; he didn't know what to say to Naruto. Naruto must feel everything; grief, hate and helpless. And the worst thing, his heart was broken.

"Naruto, go home. Don't go outside, just be home…sleep, call the president and complain. Just do something but don't go outside. When is your parents' home?"

"Dad is home early today."

"I call him. If you don't want to go tomorrow, then don't. Go home now, Naruto."

Naruto left him and Iruka sat on the bench. He didn't need to go inside the classroom yet so he took up his mobile from his pocket and called Minato's number.

"Hey, Minato, it's Iruka." The brown-haired man hoped that Akatsuki didn't stand outside the school entrance. He walked toward it while Minato talked.

"It's not that I want to talk about," Iruka said and didn't see any black and red coats outside the glass doors. He didn't see Naruto either. "It's about Naruto. Akatsuki attacked him today, they strangled him. Or, Sasuke did."

"What?" Minato was angry.

"I send him home and maybe you're on your way home?"

To lock up the door and walk inside was the hardest thing. To walk into his room and see the signs of Sasuke in there. His shirt hung on the chair. He wanted to burn it as much as he wanted to breathe in Sasuke's smell into his lungs. He took the black shirt in his hands and sat down on his messy bed. He fell backward and closed his eyes. But he sat up as soon as he heard a car park outside the house. His dad was home. Naruto was still sitting on the bed with Sasuke's shirt in his hands. He heard that his dad was worried and angry. Naruto heard that he walked toward the room. In a few seconds a man was standing in the doorway. He looked like Naruto, but older. But his eyes were smaller. Minato walked to the bed and sat down.

"How is it?" Minato laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"I loved him, dad."

"I know you did. How is your neck?"

"It still hurts." Minato gave Naruto a hug. "I'm scared." Minato hated to hear his boy saying that. He didn't like that Naruto was unprotected.

"I'll do everything to stop this, and so will Iruka. I won't let them hurt you again. But please, don't go to the school tomorrow, stay home."


	3. The fact

**One week more and one chapter more! Just sit back and relax why you're reading the third chapter. Reviewes are always welcome! **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 3: 

"I told you that we would meet again."

"Yeah, but this doesn't count," Naruto said bitter. He walked toward the sofa and took up his mobile from the table. He had one new text message. He ignored the black-haired one and focused on Sai's message. 'Don't think on the honey-moon, it'll be a big surprise.' Naruto began to write an answer, but he stopped when he knew that he needed to do something about Sasuke.

So, you aren't working today?" Sasuke asked. His black eyes looked around the living room and they stopped for a while on the paintings. Naruto laid the mobile on the table again. He had almost one idea how to take him out from the house.

"It's Sunday..?" Sasuke closed his mouth when he realized that he seemed like a fool. "Why are you here? Did you want to talk?" Sasuke looked at the painting that hung over the fireplace.

"So, you're living with someone?" He ignored the questions and walked closer to the painting. He didn't sound surprised at all. "When did you meet?"

"For three and a half years ago, almost as soon as I got my job," became Naruto's answer. He didn't like that Sasuke was here, his hate inside him wanted to throw him out through the door. He talked as little as he could and didn't even try to sound nice to him.

"Does something disturb you, Naruto? Where's your happiness?" Sasuke looked at Naruto with his cold and black eyes. They weren't warm, like Sai's.

"My happiness is on a vacation, in Iwagakure." Sasuke lifted his eyebrows; he was surprised because of Naruto's strange answer. Naruto sat down on the sofa and he hoped that Sasuke would leave soon. The anger inside him wasn't everything he felt, he felt something else. The feeling that make you escape and that start to pump the adrenaline. Fear. It was inside him and it would live forever. 'All I feel now when I see you are fear and anger.' He wanted to say those words and he wanted to see how they hurt Sasuke. If he'd felt something for Naruto. If it hadn't been fake feelings.

But he went to the kitchen instead. He took a mug and filled it with warm coffee, then walked back and sat down on the sofa again. He hadn't asked Sasuke if he wanted some, he didn't need to be nice to him. He warmed his cold hands while his was holding the warm mug.

He thought of that moment that ruined his life. All he wanted after that was to take his own life. He had felt the seconds of death and he had thought that it was wonderful. He enjoyed the moment when his lungs stopped and when he felt his heart stopped beating. It was the seconds before he would die that he liked, but not the seconds before those seconds. He remembered clear, he stood outside the school and called his dad.

"_Dad, they're going to kill me." _

"_I'm on my way, hide!" _

Naruto hadn't the time to hide. It was too late to escape. They stood around him, in a circle, as soon as he ended the call. They smiled, enjoyed what they were going to do. Naruto was afraid and knew that he couldn't escape from this. They were ten, he was one. He had no chance at all.

"_Do you like this, gay?__ Do you like it as much as you like to get fooled?" _

Everyone made their moves, everyone hurt him. If it wasn't with punches it was with words. They broke his nose, his ribs and his collarbone. He got concussion. The pain was almost too much to feel. His blood coloured the snow red. They leaved and he began to loose his consciousness. The pain disappeared and he didn't feel the cold anymore. Everything around him vanished and he couldn't think clear. It was just, wonderful. He knew that he was going to die, disappear from the terrible world. He left the world, he was somewhere between death and living. He _wanted_ to die.

"_My son, it's my fault! Don't die…" _

"What are you thinking at, Naruto?" Naruto came back to the reality and looked at the unemotional face. Everything was as clear as then.

"I thought of the moment when you killed me," Naruto said. He saw something in Sasuke's eyes but he couldn't tell what. Maybe it just was a reaction.

"But I didn't kill you, you're alive."

"Don't try to save your skin! I know I died, I remembered it all." Naruto had forgotten his coffee and it got cold but he didn't want it anymore. The only thing he wanted was to give Sasuke what he deserved; pain but maybe death. It was like an animal inside him that hungered for Sasuke's life. The animal was strong.

"I had luck that day, the only luck I had. If you guys had shown up just one minute earlier I hadn't survive. I'll never recover from that, the therapist didn't find out how he could heal me. The only thing that dampens the pain is…" Naruto laid his hand on his chest, where his heart was. "…Sai." He whispered Sai's name, for himself.

Naruto couldn't believe that he was talking about this with the one who did it. It sounded crazy. Every time he looked in Sasuke's eyes, he felt like he got punched again. The memories were too strong to ignore.

"Every one of us paid back. It didn't go well after school for anybody. And some of them died. Itachi for an example, he didn't have a job and my parents kicked him out. He died on a street and the only thing he had was his drugs."

"I hate you, Sasuke."

"And you have all the rights to do that. But I want you to know that my feelings for you weren't false." Sasuke stood up and walked to the door. He whispered something for himself, but Naruto didn't hear what. Sasuke left the house and closed the door behind him.

Naruto was still sitting on the sofa, alone. Had it been so easy? No fight or long arguments? And why did Sasuke say what had happened to Akatsuki?

Naruto remembered that Sai had sent him a text message. He took his mobile and continued to write his answer. 'Can't wait for it, it happens strange things here. Love you.'

Naruto remembered something he should have done for a long time ago. He stood up and walked to the bedroom. He opened the closet and placed the chair in front of it. He stood on the chair and raised his arms so he reached the box that was placed on the highest shelf.

"How could I be so stupid?" he asked himself. He jumped down from the chair when he had the box in his hands. He put it on the bed and took of the lid. This was things that he hadn't seen for years, thing that he didn't want to see. The first thing he saw was a photo. It was Naruto and_ him; _they hugged each other in the autumns' sunshine.

Naruto laid it on the bed and took up the second thing. It was his school certificate. They should have been low because he stayed home for the whole term. But they were high because of Iruka and his crazy idea about home teaching. Naruto knew that he must thank him for all he'd done for him. Naruto would never have met Sai if Iruka hadn't helped him. He had never met his peace.

Naruto laid the certificate on the photo and took up his third thing; papers from the hospital. He didn't read the text because he knew what it stood on the papers.

"_Minato, where are the painkillers? They aren't here…" _

"_They're all gone__..." _

"_Well, maybe the headache stops soon… I remember that I haven't say hello to Naruto yet." _His mom had walked into his room. Minato had come as soon as he had heard his wife scream. They had seen their soon laying on the floor, unconsciousness. They had understood exactly what had happened when they saw the bottle with water and some painkillers beside Naruto. Minato had called for an ambulance while Kushina had tried to wake up her son.

"_Don't die. Please Naruto, don't do this__ to yourself." _

Naruto came back to reality. He laid the papers with the words 'suicide attempt' on the certificate. Then he saw what he had searched for. He took it in his hands and sat down on the bed. Why had he saved this? He held the shirt in his hands and tried to understand himself. Sasuke hadn't taken it back, but why hadn't Naruto throw it away? Naruto let the tears in his eyes fall. But he blinked away the rest of them and stood up. He walked out determined from the room with the shirt in his hand.

He went to the living room and stopped when he was at the fireplace. He let the shirt fall to the floor and took some matches in his hands. He threw the ones with fire into the fireplace and the fire grew. He crouched and took the shirt in his hands again and waited for the fire to be big enough. When it was, he threw the shirt into the fire. He saw when the fire swallowed it, when a piece of his old life disappeared. The fires' warmth made the room unbearably warm. Naruto went to the windows and opened them. The cooler air blew in and made it possible to breathe again.

Naruto didn't' know what to do now, he stood restless in the room with his eyes focused on the fire. But like someone had read his thoughts, the phone rang. Naruto went into the kitchen and answered.

"Hello?"

"It's black out here when my Sunshine is gone." Naruto smiled big and sat down on a chair.

"Sai! Why are you calling?"

"I wanted to hear your voice," Sai answered and Naruto heard that Sai was smiling too. "And I realized that we have to send invitations to the wedding." Naruto got a little surprised. Invitations already?

"But it's so soon, and what about the dinner with my parents?"

"It's soon enough and you have to make them by yourself. Don't send any to your parents." Naruto realized that he had some work to do now.

"But we have to plan a lot before that, I mean, where we are going to be…"

"You sound so cute right now." Naruto closed his mouth and knew that he didn't need to worry. Sai wasn't, he had everything under control.

"Well, how is it going for you?"

"Excellent. And you?" Naruto felt a little panicked. He couldn't say that Sasuke is back in town but he couldn't lie to Sai either. Was Sasuke a big problem or could he handle him by himself? Could he fall down into the hole again or was he strong enough to stay on the ground?

"It's quiet here without you." He looked out from the windows. "But which should I invite?" Naruto didn't let his worries go completely.

"Maybe you know who we're not going to invite?" That made it easier. He knew _one_ that he wouldn't invite. The hate inside him burned as the fire in the living rooms' fireplace. And his fear was as strong as before.

"Naruto, is everything alright? It seems like something bothers you." Naruto pushed away his anger and fear and focused on Sai's voice instead. "You said before that strange things happen…"

"Yeah, but don't worry. Just focus on your job and sometimes, when you're too bored, think of me." Naruto heard a strange sound, coming from his stomach. He hadn't eaten yet, he hadn't time. But he had also been so restless. This with Sasuke took all of his time.

"Well, if you say so, Sunshine. Bye." Naruto said good-bye and ended the call. He missed Sai too much, he needed him now. Everything with Sasuke _was_ more than he could handle. Why did Sasuke come back after all these years? Naruto wasn't prepared for that, he had thought that he didn't need to see him anymore. All the old memories had come back from the deep inside him. How could Sasuke think that Naruto would like to see him again? Something was wrong with his head.

Naruto laid the telephone on the table and stood up on his shaky legs. He was sweaty but he froze at the same time. He felt that he needed to talk to someone. But he couldn't. Naruto knew what was wrong with all this. It was just hard to accept the fact. And the fact was that Naruto _still_ loved his first love.


	4. Love instead of hate

**It's time for good feelings! Hope you'll like it. Thanks to all your rewievs! Here is a brand-new chapter for you guys. **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 4: Love instead of hate

"Good-bye, Sakura."

Naruto left his office for the day and closed the glass door behind him. The sun had almost set and coloured the sky orange. Naruto waved to his secretary and walked into the elevator. He pushed a button and the elevator began to move downward. He did the same things as usual; walked out through the glass doors, took a taxi and went home. Naruto checked his mobile if he had any new messages. He didn't do that when he worked because he thought it was wrong. If someone wanted him something they could call him on the "work-phone". But he hadn't any new messages and laid his mobile in his jacket's pocket again. He thought on his job, everything he'd done for others. It hadn't been easy to be a boss over an almost bankrupt company, but he made it after some months on the office. The three first months was the worst and he had tried to understand what he got into. But after those months filled with papers he had finally seen the bottom. The other workers had been worried but then relieved because they hadn't got fired. Naruto had come up with an idea, to make more commercial for the company. He had asked the workers if they knew someone creative. A red-haired man named Gaara had said that he knew someone.

_Flashback_

"Sai." Naruto took the pale hand and shook it. He saw into the black eyes and the artist named Sai looked into Naruto's.

"I'm Naruto. Nice to meet you." He walked toward his desk and sat down on the chair. Sai sat down in the black armchair in front of the desk. They looked at each other for a long time. It was quiet in the room but they didn't actually care. All they cared about was the person in front of them. A strange feeling was appearing in them both.

All Naruto saw was the black-white person and all Sai saw was the sun. Naruto didn't think, he just saw and _did_. He stood up and walked toward Sai. The pale man stood up and smiled an amazing smile. Naruto's legs got weak and he began to sweat. Sai looked so calm, the opposite of how Naruto felt.

But Sai wasn't calm; his head was filled with questions. What am I feeling? What is he doing? Does he want to kick me out? What shall I do? The one who took the first step was the blond one. He took the other's hand and felt the smooth skin under his fingertips. His skin was pale as paper and his lips looked like sand. Naruto wanted to kiss them but he didn't dare. Naruto began to blush because of his odd feelings. They should sit down and discuss some things. But then, slowly and beautifully, Sai moved closer to Naruto and their lips met. Sai's lips weren't like sand at all. Instead they were smooth and delicious. Naruto laid Sai's head in his hands and felt the softness of the black hair. He stopped the kiss and breathed, then smiled.

"I'm kind of distracted…we should talk business. But I can send everyone home and then we can go to a restaurant. How's that idea?" Naruto wanted to know who this mysterious man was and he wanted more…_kisses_.

Naruto hadn't even guessed that Sai's parents got murdered and he had lived with a man that adopted him as a baby. He was learned that feelings weren't good to feel. It felt impossible for Naruto because he knew how Sai was. But he didn't know how he was _before_ they met. He could have been a person that just cared about his work. It was strange for Naruto to think that. He was used to see Sai happy, sad and every else emotions. But he didn't like when Sai was disappointed. It tore him apart. Like the morning for a few days ago.

"_So, do you want to go further?" _

"_You know that we can't."_

"_Sorry. I didn't think clear."_

"_It's alright, it's my fault." _

Sai did always blame himself for the accident. It was wrong. Naruto knew the whole history and it wasn't even one proof that found Sai guilty. Naruto had told Sai that for at least hundred times but the information hadn't reached the closed ears.

"_You can't deny it, Naruto. You miss it as much as I do. This will ruin everything!" _

Sai had been angry, both at himself and at Naruto. Naruto was always to kind and forgave everyone. Except…_him. _

The taxi-car stopped outside the grey house and Naruto paid the driver. He got out from the car and walked toward the house on the asphalt. The sky was dark and the moon shone. It was round and big. Naruto took up his key from his pockets. He locked up the door and walked inside the warm house. He lit some lights and laid the key on the table when he reached the kitchen. Then he went to the bedroom and changed to more comfortable clothes. He hung his suit on a hanger and hung the hanger in the closet. The house was uncomfortably quiet so Naruto turned on the radio. An old, romantic song was heard in the room and the lonely man sat down on the sofa. Or, he lay down with his head resting on the arm. He closed his eyes for a while and tried to stop thinking on the one he missed. He thought instead on tomorrow when he would be home again. Naruto smiled and opened his eyes again. But he didn't see the things that he was used to see. Everything he saw was black like someone had switch off the lights. Someone held a hand in front of his eyes so that's why everything was black. Naruto raised his arm and tried to take it away so he could see who it was. The hand was cold. The cold hand grabbed Naruto's and revealed who was in front of him. The face was as familiar as it always had been. The whiteness was like a paper and the black eyes were like ink. But the face was hard and emotionless; it missed all the good things that had been there before. Naruto didn't say anything.

"It's amazing how anyone can have such perfect eyes." Sasuke smiled a surprising smile. Naruto sat up slowly while he tried to figure out when Sasuke came here. He hadn't heard anything.

"Sasuke…" It should be impossible but it wasn't. Naruto's old feelings weren't gone. They lay deep down in his heart, at the bottom. Naruto saw the person that he had been in loved with. He saw the person that was his _first _love. Naruto swallowed, Sasuke's eyes sparkled beautifully. Naruto blinked, Sasuke smiled perfectly. Naruto was sweaty, Sasuke moved. He laid a hand on Naruto's knee. Naruto jumped up from the sofa.

"What the fuck?" Naruto looked down at the still smiling face. "Are you totally insane?" Sasuke stood up and met Naruto's eyes. His smile began slowly to disappear but it stayed when it was just a movement in the corner of his mouth. He raised his arm and caressed Naruto's cheek with his hand. Naruto began to shake by the fear he felt. He wanted to run away and hide but he knew that Sasuke would be exactly behind his back. He wanted to punch him unconsciousness but he knew that Sasuke would punch harder.

"Don't you know that you still love me?" Naruto took deep breathes and closed his eyes. He ignored the question and focused on his thoughts instead. He saw Sai smiling in front of him and made the situation better.

Naruto felt the tiredness woke up inside him. It was completely dark outside this warm summer-evening. It must be late. Naruto looked into the black eyes that were similar to the outside. The moon in those eyes sparkled. The cold hand was still caressing Naruto's cheek.

"I see you do."

"No, I don't," was Naruto answer. The pure lie tasted sweet on his lips but it burned his throat like a fire. His face was turned into a poker-face but the inside was like a war when right and wrong battled against each other. Was it right to love him? Was it wrong to not hate him?

"Then explain to me why you're holding my hand?" Naruto's mind returned to his body and he realized what he was doing. He held Sasuke's hand in his, and smoothly caressed it. He blushed when he found out what he did without even knowing that.

"I don't…" Naruto wanted to explain to Sasuke how it really was, but he got interrupted. Sasuke kissed him and held Naruto's head in his hands. And Sasuke got surprised because Naruto kissed him back. The quietness in the room lasted for more than one minute. The only thing that was heard was the breaths. But then one of them began to talk while the other listened.

"It's impossible, this is a dream." The blond one smiled big and showed his perfect teeth. He looked deep into the eyes in front of him and saw the happiness shone in them.

"Yes, it's a dream." The dark-haired one smiled and gazed at the beautiful person in front of him. The golden hair felt like silk in his hands. He had longed for this. This was all he needed to become one piece again.

"I should feel anger or at least fear but all I can feel is love." Naruto tasted the sweet lips again and felt how he became warm inside. He turned around and pushed Sasuke into the sofa. He followed Sasuke that fell easily. He crept slowly toward him and laid as little of his weight on Sasuke as possible. He kissed almost every part of him. Sasuke's eyes were closed and his mouth was still turned into a smile. A smile that was unbeatable. No-one could smile like someone that hasn't smiled for years.

"I'm sorry, Naruto." The eyes were still closed. "I don't know why I did it, I was a fool."

"I don't know why I feel like I do right now. My body should burn because of anger but it burns because I want you so bad." Naruto kissed Sasuke on the neck first but then he swirled his tongue on the skin. He could feel that Sasuke was warm too. That was a good sign.

"The only reason…" Sasuke tried to catch his breath again when Naruto's tongue was behind his ear. "…is love. We belong to each other, Naruto." Naruto heard the words that were the truth. He couldn't escape it. They were meant for each other and nothing could change that. They had been apart for a lot of years and left each other with hate and shame. But when they were at this point, the love came back.

Sasuke took Naruto's wrists into his hands. He opened his eyes and looked into the blue ones. They were filled with love that he hadn't seen before. What had happened? Sasuke kissed the wrists while Naruto laid his head on Sasuke's chest. He could hear the heart.

"But if this is a dream, then why is everything so perfect?" He was still listening on the heart and closed his eyes. Then Sasuke made him sit up and he felt without looking that he was carried. Sasuke held him in his arms and Naruto rested his head on his shoulder. He was happy.

"This is what we feel and not a dream." Naruto sighed and then was laid down on what he thought was a bed. He opened his eyes and found out that he had right. Sasuke stood up but lay down as soon as he took of his shirt. Naruto smiled when he saw Sasuke's muscles. He laid a warm hand on Sasuke's well-trained stomach.

"Someone has trained," Naruto said flattering. Sasuke smiled and turned around. He sat up and moved his legs. He sat up on Naruto when he was still again. This was something Naruto missed. He has not to do all by himself. Sasuke took of Naruto's shirt without any problems. Then he pressed his perfect lips against Naruto's stomach.

"Do you remember the last time?" Sasuke continued his kissed. Naruto thought for a while but then he smiled.

"Yes. But we're going to make it to the end right?" Naruto laid a hand on Sasuke's head. Sasuke nodded. "I will never forget what you did, Moonshine." Naruto laughed when he said the nickname. It was a long time ago, but he remembered it. "But I will never forget the good things you did either. You fought against your own prejudices at the same time as you made resistance against Akatsuki." Moonlight looked up.

"I remember that I was completely confused the day when I understood my feelings. I told my parents that I was gay and I had a boyfriend the day after. My poor parents." Sasuke laughed a little but then continued with his kissed, but now higher up.

The pointer on the clock pointed at the five when they were asleep and they were completely exhausted.

_Flashback_

Sasuke walked into the school and felt happy. Today was the day when he would do it. No-one could change that. The first thing he saw was the one. He did almost collapse when he saw him.

"So perfect," Sasuke mumbled for himself and gazed at Naruto. He walked toward his locker and he opened it when he reached his goal. He hung his jacket on the hook and took out his math books. Then he turned around and went to the classroom. Sasuke said hello to the teacher and then sat down on his chair. He felt even happier when he remembered who he sat beside. Naruto.

"Hello everyone," Iruka said and smiled. "We're going to work in pairs today." Almost everyone sighed. Sasuke wasn't one of them, neither was Naruto. Sasuke moved forward but was still sitting on the chair.

"Naruto, do you want to work with me?" Sasuke asked and ignored his nervousness. He had to do this. Naruto turned his head around and smiled big.

"Yeah," he answered and showed his perfect teeth. Iruka handed out the instructions. Sasuke read them and understood immediately. He looked at Naruto's confusing face and smiled. Not because Naruto didn't understand but because he looked at the most wonderful person in the world. Sasuke heart did almost jump out from his chest.

"Do you want me to explain for you?" Sasuke asked and saw that Naruto blushed. The others had already begun with the math-problem. Naruto laid the paper on the table and played with the eraser.

"No, that's not necessary." Then Sasuke made a move that just Naruto saw. Sasuke laid a hand on Naruto's thigh. The blue eyes looked confused but the lips were turned into a content smile.

"Alright, then we're doing like this," Sasuke said and wrote some figures on a paper at the same time as he caressed Naruto's thigh. Naruto tried to understand but he was more focused on Sasuke's caressing hand. "Do you get it?" Naruto gazed into the black eyes and searched for an explanation.

"Are you sure it's the right answer?"

"Yes," Sasuke said certainly. The others weren't finished with the problem yet even if they began earlier. Iruka saw that they were finished so he walked toward them.

"You're finished already?" he asked. Naruto and Sasuke nodded at the same time. "Good, just sit down and wait on the others." Iruka walked toward some of the confused students. Sasuke couldn't understand what was hard. This math-problem was easy.

The classmates were soon finished and they went out from the classroom after Iruka's explanation of the problem. Sasuke let his hand go of Naruto but someone took it again when he was outside the classroom. He stopped and looked at the blond boy.

"Come, let's go somewhere else," he said and Sasuke followed him. They went to a more private place where no-one was. Just they. "I'm confused."

"Yeah, me too." Sasuke followed his heart and took a step forward. He laid a hand on Naruto's cheek and felt the warm skin under it. Then he kissed the perfect boy. It was like they went to another world where they were the only ones that existed. But sooner or later they had to return. It wasn't because their lesson started but they had to breathe.

"Will this last or will you leave me like all the others?" Naruto asked. Sasuke didn't understand and raised his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about?"

"No-one wants to be my friend so I don't understand why you kissed me. Everyone seems to think that I'm some kind of a monster."

"A monster? How is it possible to think that about you? You are so perfect a human can be…" Sasuke hugged Naruto and breathed in the perfect smell.

"Really?" Naruto asked sadly. "Then explain to me why I have no friends or why I'm Akatsuki's victim?" Sasuke couldn't explain because he didn't know.

"I guess that they don't know you as well as me," he said and took a hand in his and went to their classroom. "We have always been friends, Naruto. That's what I think." Naruto relaxed a bit and his face turned happy again. They went to left and saw their goal in front of them.

And something else, it was like expected. Akatsuki just _had_ to stand outside their classroom. It was perfect. The people in the coats with clouds on turned around. They looked big and dangerous; no-one had the courage to stand against them. Sasuke did finally understood why Naruto felt the way he felt. He felt stupid that he never understood before. They were nine and he was one.

"So, you got someone on your side?" Sasuke's brother took a few steps closer to them. Both of them felt sweaty. But then one of them made a poker-face and took the other's hand. "Does someone like all your weakness?" Itachi saw that his brother held a hand and he smiled mean. "I didn't now that you were like him." Itachi stared at his brother. Then he moved and raised a hand and slapped Naruto in his face. "Pathetic monster!" But his hand was held in a hard grip when he screamed. Sasuke held his wrist in his hand. His eyes were burning.

"Do not talk like that to Naruto!" Sasuke was angry and Naruto wide-opened his eyes. "He isn't a monster: he is a human with feelings, just like you!" The people around them began to stare because of Sasuke's high voice.

"You should respect me!" Itachi was angry too because he wasn't used with this.

"Then what?" He let the wrist in his hand go and took Naruto's instead. "Are you going to kill me? But, you can't do that, can you? You've always wanted me in your gang. But I will never leave Naruto alone!" Sasuke screamed out the anger. How could someone be so evil? Then he let the rest of his anger go and the result was a punch in Itachi's face. A drip of blood came from his mouth. Sasuke hoped that he hit some of his teeth. The others in coats got surprised. But the one who was most surprised was Naruto. This was all new for him. Someone was on his side. Itachi took a few steps back and returned to his gang.

"I'll give you hell!" he screamed through the corridor and the gang disappeared. Sasuke took a deep breathe and relaxed. His hand ached. He turned around and looked at Naruto. His blue eyes were wide-opened.

"Why..?"

"You are to perfect to resist, Naruto. I did it for you." Sasuke kissed him and played with the golden hair. The people around them stared and got surprised. But all that Sasuke cared about was Naruto and no-one could take him away from him. "You woke me up; I didn't know why I felt so weird around you. But then I realized I was in love. You should have seen my parent's faces." Sasuke laughed. "My parent's are against people like _us_ but I hope that they have changed till they see my boyfriend."

"This was a dream for me before, to feel the feeling that the first kiss gives. But it's the reality now, I guess." Naruto smiled big and Sasuke's legs got weak. He did just think of one thing: how beautiful Naruto was. "But maybe I will wake up."

"No, this is reality. And it'll last forever."

**This chaper was really a challenge for me...I mean, from SaiNaru to SasuNaru. But the result was good after all. How do you want the story to end? I can't insure you that it will end happy...**


	5. A cut in the heart

**A new chapter is uploaded to you! Thanks for the good reviews! **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 5: A cut in the heart

Naruto woke up slowly this day. He enjoyed the warmth of the sun that shone into the room. He sighed for a long time and then yawned. He had an arm around his waist.

"So, you're finally awake?" a flattering voice said. Naruto took the arm's hand in his. His body was stiff and he did slowly remember why. He smiled and turned around and met the black, perfect eyes. Naruto remembered that he had called them for cold but he couldn't quite understand that now. They had changed from ice to fire.

"Gosh, you're eyelashes is long," Naruto said and laid his hand on Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke blinked and kissed Naruto. He moved his arm lower till Naruto's waist. Naruto laughed.

"What? Are you ticklish?"

"No," Naruto said. He laid his head on Sasuke's chest. "I'm just happy." Sasuke caressed Naruto's head but then began to move. He sat up. "Where are you going?" Sasuke gazed at Naruto's naked body and tried to understand how it could be so perfect. Whole Naruto was like a god or something. He had the kindness, the humility and he had the look. Sasuke came back to the world when Naruto waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"You'll understand if you hear the sounds from your stomach and look at the clock." Sasuke pointed with his head to the watch. Naruto's eyes followed. Half past one? Naruto listened to his stomach and yes, it roared, because of the lack of energy. Sasuke stood up and Naruto gazed at him. The sun dazzled him but he could see the contours of his beautiful body. Sasuke took up his clothes that were everywhere in the room and put them on. Naruto closed his eyes and fell asleep again.

"Sunshine?" Naruto opened his sleepy eyes. Sasuke sat beside Naruto and smiled. Naruto yawned and stretched his arms. A smell of coffee filled the room. Naruto sat up and searched with his eyes for his clothes. "You're always so beautiful on the mornings." Sasuke stood up and collected Naruto's clothes. Then he gave them to him and sat down on the bed again.

"Speak for yourself," Naruto said and put on his clothes. Sasuke stood up and helped Naruto on his legs and then went to the kitchen. Naruto followed him… or he followed the smell of toasted bread and coffee. They entered the kitchen and Naruto sat down on a chair while Sasuke poured coffee into their mugs. He looked at Naruto and smiled. Naruto smiled his perfect smile, the smile that Sasuke loved. Then the smile turned into a yawn instead.

"Still tired?" Sasuke asked and sat down in front of Naruto.

"Yeah, I fell asleep late this night and I wonder why?" the blond asked with his sparkling eyes. "Maybe you were the reason?"

"Do you really think so?" Sasuke asked and warmed his hands with the coffee-mug. Naruto reached his hand to take a slice of bread but then stopped. He remembered something important that was going to happen today. Someone was coming home today and Naruto had completely forgotten that. He looked at the watch; three o'clock? It was like morning, he was eating breakfast after all. Naruto stood up; mad at himself because he had been so stupid. How could he forget?

"I have to take a shower…you must leave within an hour." Sasuke looked lost and he raised his eyebrows to show his confusion. Naruto hurried out from the room and went to the bathroom with super-speed. With his heart in his throat he took off his clothes and ran into the shower. The warm water rained on him and the steam rose up to the roof. Naruto began to shake. What was he going to do?

The door was open after just a few seconds and Sasuke walked inside. He took off his clothes too and opened the glass doors. He went inside the rain and closed the doors. The steam made them misty. Sasuke's hair became wet and laid flat around his head. Naruto stood as paralysed but in a different world. His body shook more than ever and his thoughts went like the body. He didn't believe what he just had done. He had been with someone else, he had cheated on Sai.

"Naruto, why are you shaking like this?" Sasuke took Naruto shaking hands in his.

"Can I just tell him..?" Naruto said but Sasuke saw that he was in his own thoughts. Sasuke raised an arm and took a shampoo-bottle from the steel-shelf. He poured out some into his other hand and placed it back on the shelf again. Sasuke massaged in the shampoo in the golden hair and Naruto closed his eyes.

"Tell him as much as you want," Sasuke whispered. "Tell him everything or just say that you saw me and got surprised."

"But he will leave me…Must love be so hard? I mean, I love Sai and I thought I hated you. But I know now that I love you too and I can't have you both…" Naruto was glad that they showered so Sasuke couldn't see his tears. His heart would explode any minute.

"He won't leave you if he loves you, and yes: love must be hard." Sasuke turned off the water but he wasn't able to turn off Naruto's tears. They fell without end. Sasuke felt guilty because he was the problem. He came back and Naruto began to doubt. But he knew that he couldn't let this go. They were meant to be each other. But how could they be each other when Naruto was together with someone else?

"You must leave now, Sasuke." Naruto stood in the living room and a little stressed. The time was almost at an end but Sasuke stood stubbornly on his place.

"I won't leave you like this Naruto," Sasuke said and hugged Naruto. He breathed in his smell and played with the golden hair. "You're still sad."

"How can I _not _be sad?" Naruto heard a car park outside the house. It was a black limousine. Naruto left Sasuke's welcome arms and blinked away the tears.

"We need to talk more than this," Sasuke said and saw someone in a wheelchair coming nearer to the house. He remembered something he regretted when he saw him.

"Just go," Naruto said and showed where the other door was. He saw Sasuke leave the house and when he turned around he saw Sai enter the house. Naruto walked a few steps and then hugged his fiancé. "Sai." Naruto was happy to see him but he was always blinking away the tears. But Sai was happier.

"Naruto," he said and smiled. Naruto wanted to avoid eye-contact so he kissed him. The kiss wasn't as intensive as Sasuke's. Naruto kicked out Sasuke from his mind and focused on Sai.

"Had a good time?" Naruto asked after the kiss.

"Indeed." Sai laid the bag on the floor and rolled in to the living room. The driver came inside but he had just one picture now. The driver said good-bye and left the house. Naruto went to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"I did almost forget that mom and dad were coming here tonight," Naruto said. It was the truth. He had completely forgotten it. Naruto pushed away the thoughts that came up into his mind and succeeded. He saw that Sai went to the bedroom and took a really deep breath. He was sweaty and shaking. Naruto took a cutting board and a knife and began to cut the onion. It wasn't good at all to cut _onion_ because he would start crying again. Slice after slice his thoughts began to woke up again and all his questions he had to himself.

How could he have been so stupid? Why had he lost control? Did he regret it? Does he love Sai? Does he love Sasuke more than Sai? What was he going to do?

Sai rolled into the kitchen without Naruto knowing that. All Naruto saw was a deep, red colour in front of his eyes. The rest of Naruto was gone. The entire body ached and mostly the heart.

"Naruto!" The blond one looked up and gazed at the black-haired. "What are you doing?" Sai was mad and Naruto did slowly understand why. The cutting board was red because of his blood. His finger had a deep cut but he didn't feel the pain.

Sai threw a big piece of paper to him and Naruto laid it around his cut. The blood made him sick and dizzy. He sat down on a chair and felt the blood pump in his finger. Naruto realized that Sai was gone but saw him coming toward the kitchen with an expressionless face. But Naruto knew that he was mad and worried. Sai stopped at the kitchen-table and laid a packet of really thick band-aids on the table. He took a scissor from a drawer. "I want you to tell what had happen." Naruto swallowed and focused on his answer. He took a long time to figure it out.

"S-Sasuke came back." Naruto was nervous. Sai plastered Naruto's finger. His black eyes looked calm but Naruto guessed that he wasn't.

"And?"

"I slept with him."

"You did _what_?" Sai asked angrily. His face turned into anger and the calmness was gone immediately. "You _slept_ with _him_?" Naruto didn't want to look Sai into his eyes so he avoided them as much as he could. He looked at the table instead. Naruto would understand if Sai would hit him. He would _completely_ understand it.

"Yes." Sai didn't know what to say. He was mad and disappointed but he hadn't any words to say to Naruto. He tried to figure out something to say.

"How could you… do it?"

"Because I love him." It was like a cut in the heart. Sai couldn't believe what Naruto said. Didn't he hate Sasuke?

"You…love him?" Sai asked confused. "Don't you love me?" It was a hard question to ask but it felt just like that. Like Naruto didn't love him. It felt like it wasn't the truth too, but the cut in Naruto's finger was a proof. Naruto was a person with a short way to tears. And the tears that fell from his blue eyes now: they had been there all day.

"Of course I love you, Sai. But it was….just so right." Naruto felt embarrassed. He was the one who was the bad one and here he sat and cried. And Sasuke had said calmly that Naruto could handle it. Sasuke didn't know him as well as Sai. Sai would never say that to him. He would say that they could handle it _together. _Naruto could see that Sai was thinking.

"Your parents will come soon and we have some things to prepare. You tell them what you want to say and discuss this later." Sai rolled out from the room and went to his paint-room. The door got closed fast and with a high sound. Naruto stood up and began to wash the cutting board. He needed to take control of himself before his parents arrived.

"Hello son!" Minato smiled big and hugged his son. Kushina's eyes sparkled and she took a step inside the house. She looked calm as always.

"Hello," she said to the younger men. She wore a green dress that fit her body perfectly. Her red hair was long and lay still on her shoulders.

Both of the guests went inside and looked around. It had been a while since they were here and some things had changed. They seemed deeply interested in the painting over the fireplace.

"Did you have a good time on your vacation?" Minato asked and looked at the painting with his blue eyes.

"Yes. It was perfect." Naruto took a fast look at Sai but he didn't look angry anymore. He went to the backdoor and opened it. The sun began to set but the warmth was still there. A table and four chairs stood placed on the veranda. Some candles stood on the table with plates, cutlery and glasses. Naruto went inside and got the matches at the fireplace. He went outside again while Sai was talking about his journey with Naruto's parents. He lit the candles and blew out the fire on the matchstick. He turned his head around and looked at Sai. He met the black eyes and smiled. Sai smiled back and Naruto saw that it wasn't a fake smile. But his wasn't fake either. Minato and Kushina looked at the way Sai looked, like people does, and they saw their son paralysed with a matchstick in his hand.

"Mom and dad, why don't you come out?" Naruto asked and waited for them to come out. He went to the kitchen and got the drink out from the fridge. Then he walked with the wine bottles toward the veranda again.

"So, how does it go with your job?" Minato asked and drank some wine. Naruto sat down on his chair when everyone's glasses were filled with red, tasty wine.

"Good, it's going better and better." Naruto smiled and took the glass in his hand, then drank. He let the red liquid make his mood better. The guests began to take food and when it was Naruto's turn, the parents opened their mouths in surprise.

"Is that a…engagement ring?" Kushina asked and stared at Naruto's left ring finger. Minato reacted a couple of seconds after but his eyes were at last fixed on the golden ring. Naruto felt a blush appearing on his cheeks and tried to hide it with a smile.

"Yes, it is," Naruto said and turned his head to the right where he saw Sai smiling. Then he completely understood what he'd done. Sai must be burning because of anger but Naruto didn't see any signs of it. He did just see the love.

"That went well, right?" Naruto asked uncertainly and sat down on the bed. He yawned and lay down, with his head resting on the pillow. He looked at Sai, who was uncomfortable calm. He knew that they had to talk about it but without any ideas how to start. Sai's black eyes looked at the ceiling and his hands lay still on his stomach. He looked like he knew what was going on. Naruto took a deep breath and prepared himself. "Sai, how can you be so calm? What I've done to you is terrible and I won't forgive myself for that. But the way you're acting is weird; you should be mad and scream to me. You should throw me out from the house…even if it's impossible…or send me to sleep on the sofa." Sai looked at Naruto, calm as ever, and waited for him to stop talking.

"Why should I Naruto?" Naruto raised his eye-brows. "If I love you, then why would I try to throw you out?"

"But I slept with him?"

"You still love him, Sunshine, I know that. But I also know that you wanted to loose control because it was a long time ago, wasn't it?" Sai smiled when some special memories came back into his mind.

Naruto understood what Sai was talking about. Sasuke was just a coincidence. Naruto missed the time when he and Sai slept with each other for the first and last time. It made him feel like a normal person. Without any deep thoughts about suicide or stuff.

"I will never forget…"

"I will never let you go, Naruto. You made me feel again, like a real human." Sai sat up and supported himself with his arm. He looked down on Naruto and smiled. "What happened was just…right. The accident was my fault-"

"No, it wasn't." Naruto interrupted his fiancé with a certain voice. "Stop to blame yourself all the time. Why do we call it for an accident oi you says that it was your fault?" Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. He made a decision.

"When I marry you I want you to stop blame yourself. I don't want to hear this again, Sai." Then Naruto sat up and pressed his lips against Sai's.


	6. Resistance

**Woohoo! The last chapter is uploaded and I hope you like the end! Was it a good angst-story or did it end too happy? Anyway, thanks for the reviews and hope you write some when you read the last word! I must say that I'm kind of in love with SaiNaru now when I wrote a story when Sasuke was "evil"...that's weird. **

**To Resist Love**

Chapter 6: Resistance

A knock was heard on the door. Naruto stopped writing and laid the ink-pencil on the desk. He sat up properly and straightened his tie.

"Yes?" The door got opened and Sasuke went inside. He closed the door behind him and walked toward Naruto's desk.

"Hey," he said quietly. He sat down on the armchair and looked at Naruto. "How did it go?"

"He kind of forgave me," Naruto said but sighed. "But he's still mad, I see that." He looked down on the table and saw a piece of paper. The paper he had painted on for a few days ago. The heart with the evil line across it. He saw what it symbolized; Sai's and his relationship, destroyed by Sasuke. How could he have broken the perfect bond between him and Sai?

"Naruto..?" Sasuke looked nervous. Naruto saw that something was bothering him and he wanted to find out what.

"How could I do it? I betrayed Sai and he will never forgive me!" Naruto stood up and turned around and looked out through the windows. The city was barely alive when everyone was on their work or school. There were just a few cars and the people were just a small number. He turned around again and looked at Sasuke.

"What did he say then?"

"Something about that he would never leave me because he loves me…"

"You need to give him some time…You would like to have some time for yourself if _he_ had cheated on you." Naruto thought for a while with the nervous Sasuke in front of him. Was time the only thing Sai needed? Naruto doubted that, he knew who Sai was. He was a calm person who rarely needed time for himself. If he just sat alone in the paint-room, which he probably did right now, and painted then he got his time. The time Sasuke meant was months. Naruto felt an anger starting to burn inside him for the first time. But not because of himself this time.

"You can't just arrive and tell me what I should do. Like you know something about relationships," Naruto said bitterly.

"You know what I want," Sasuke said with his nervous voice. Had something happened yesterday?

"But I don't want you." The word 'owned' came up into his mind and he wanted to smile, but couldn't because of Sasuke's face. He seemed angry now, the mouth became just a small line on the face and the eyes became smaller. "I don't know what you do not understand but I have gone on. I love Sai too much to leave him and live with you. And I mean," Naruto thought for some seconds but then continued. "We would need to escape from this place. I would have to leave my work but that is impossible, I would never leave this company and the people. Not for you." Sasuke didn't say anything but continued to look angry and nervous. "What's wrong with you today?" Sasuke looked up from the floor and met Naruto's eyes.

"I have to tell you something."

"I'm glad you had your time." Kushina entered the house but followed the man to the outside and they sat down at the table on the veranda. She didn't know why she was there, but Sai had said that he needed her help.

"I hope I can help you with whatever you need help with," she said and met the black eyes. The man in front of her was definitely beautiful. He was all in black and white without any scars or scratches on his pale skin. He held some papers in his hands that were probably his problem.

"Naruto and I decided for a while ago that we would marry soon and leave on a long honey-moon." Kushina smiled when Sai spread the papers out on the table. The plans looked good. Nice colours, perfect flowers and tasteful food. "I just want to hear your thoughts."

"They're really good."

"What do you think about the yellow tulips?" Sai was on a shiny mood today and Kushina felt how his emotions filled her too. This was what Naruto always talked about. He had told her that Sai let his emotions spread to others. She hadn't understood then when Naruto told her but she did it now.

"They're perfect; it doesn't have to be red roses all the time." But then she realized something: the colours. "But why does the tulips and the decorations match Naruto?" Sai's smile became bigger and he looked content.

"Perfect," he said but Kushina was confused. "You see the colours match Naruto and that was the whole meaning with it." Kushina wondered how much they loved each other and realized that she shouldn't even try to guess. Their love was strong and unbeatable. The bond was impossible to break.

"Sai," she said. "Why are you doing all this for him?"

"Because he needs it." Kushina lifted one of her red eyebrows. "I have seen how much Naruto suffer from the past…no one deserves that." Sai ran a hand through his short hair and sighed. "Naruto is a good person and needs to get something back from everything he'd done."

"Yeah…"

"We need each other."

"I was the one who caused the accident." Sasuke let the secret leave his mind. Naruto blinked and tried to understand what he heard. "I followed Sai and crashed with his car, but the plans didn't work out like I wanted to. I wanted him dead." Naruto felt something that felt like a cut in the heart. He stood in front of an almost murderer.

"Why?" he asked while a knife was cutting his heart.

"I hoped that you would take me back when you didn't have him." Naruto realized how much Sasuke would do to take him back, even a life. Sasuke was obsessed. Naruto hadn't seen it before but it was so obviously now. But what could you say to an obsessed person? "Naruto?"

"You have to go on, you can't just long for me all the time." It felt like a sad moment, when the two stood at their crossroads. It felt exactly the way it was, but it was just one who was standing at the crossroad: the other pushed him away.

Naruto sat down on his chair and stared at the obsessed one.

"How can you want to live with him?" Sasuke stood up and his face turned into an angrier face. "You can get everything you want with me. What can he do for you, Naruto?"

"He's my inner peace, Sasuke. If I hadn't met him I would probably fall into the same dark hole all the time. The dark hole when I feel you punch me in my face, when my parents are the only way to keep me on the ground." Naruto sighed and stared into the black eyes. "That's why we can't be with each other, Sasuke. Because I will always be remember who you really are and what you did." Sasuke knew that he couldn't convince Naruto. Naruto was too strong; his resistance was stronger than Sasuke's determination. So, he walked toward the door and waved with his arm in the air.

"Wait." Sasuke stopped and his arm fell. He turned around and looked at Naruto again. Naruto stood up and walked toward him. Then he hugged him, after all this was a good-bye. "You have always been bad at good-byes," Naruto said and laughed a little to make Sasuke's mood better. Naruto felt that Sasuke was sad, but so was he. This was one of his great loves that he now had to say good-bye to. Sasuke hugged back but then disappeared from the office as soon as Naruto let him go. Naruto was still standing at the same place and looked at the closed door. He sighed, sat down on his chair again and took the phone in his hand. "Sai, I'm coming home earlier today." Then he went out from the office and was soon seeing leave the building. But no-one did ever see a dark person do the same thing for just a few minutes earlier. He was gone. No-one saw him but they could feel his presence. The presence of someone who didn't have any hope or dreams left.

"We must do this different too. But that's kind of sweet." Naruto smiled his big smile and the man's heart in front of him melted like ice-cream in the sun. Then the man with the melted heart got into two strong arms. Naruto carried his husband over the doorstep. Just like the traditional way, but in changed positions. Naruto was actually more like the "woman" but he was the only one who could carry someone. He put down Sai on the bed and then sighed. He was happy, almost too happy. This was the beginning of their life together, as husband and husband. This honey-moon would be their first step and it seemed to be a long and an amazing step. Sai had done a lot to make this real. He had planed this for a really long time. Naruto took a fast look through the window and saw the after-noon-sun set. It coloured the sky orange and red.

"This would be such a perfect painting," Sai said and looked on the man who was standing and looked on the sun. The sun made his blue eyes sparkle like diamonds and the smile he had was more perfect than ever. "But we aren't here to paint, I guess." Sai sighed but saved the picture inside his head. He _had_ to paint it. Naruto turned around and met the beautiful eyes. They were so dark, so intense.

"No, we're here to do other things." Naruto opened the door that went to the veranda. The cottage was too perfect. It had a beach, a veranda and privacy. The fresh air filled the room and made it more comfortable. Naruto sat down on the bed, close to Sai, and felt the desire to kiss him. And he let the desire win. Naruto's and Sai's lips met each others and stayed sealed for a long time. But then one of them needed to breathe.

"I'm glad that we're going to do this," Naruto said and smiled when he thought of the moment when they had their talk. He had told Sai what Sasuke had told Naruto and the problem was solved. Sai got angry and showed all his emotions. But then he said something he didn't usually say: a curse. He had said 'Fuck the doctors' and smiled big. Sai had finally realized that it wasn't his fault. Everything since that day had been perfect. And not to mention the surprise at the morning. Sai had said that it was something going on outside their house and Naruto had looked. What had going on was a wedding. They had gone to their honey-moon some hours after. Naruto laughed when he remembered something funny at the wedding.

"My dad is weird," Naruto said. "When he asked why the wedding had his colours…" Sai laughed.

"Yes, he is," Sai said. "Did you like it?"

"Yes, it was perfect." Naruto smiled and his feelings were seen in his blue eyes. Sai was glad that Naruto was so happy. This was everything they needed and what they wanted. "But I guess I want something else too…" Naruto kissed Sai but with more intense than before. He let his hand sneaking upward on Sai's thigh at the same time as Sai played with his fingers in the golden hair. Their breaths began to be irregular but no-one really cared. Sai pushed down Naruto on the bed and Naruto fell backward. Sai took off his shirt fast and caressed Naruto's torso. His lips were searching for the soft lips but they didn't reach their goal. His lips kissed Naruto's neck instead and he felt a pair of hands caressing his back. He began to unbutton the buttons on Naruto's white shirt and then took it off.

"I haven't said the words for some hours now," Sai said and kissed Naruto bare torso. "I love you." He saw Naruto smile with his closed eyes and Sai's lips turned into a smile too. He couldn't believe that he was married with this beautiful man. Naruto was his and no-one could part them.

"You know what I'll say but it's important for me to say too," Naruto sighed delighted. "I love you too, Sai." Then they began to be really concentrated on each other. The whole night was filled with kisses, caresses and sweat. And the night ended happily, on the way they wanted it to end. No-one became disappointed or irritated. But this night was just one of many.

**Epilogue**

A black hole appeared in my heart when I saw him for the last time. The black hole represented my mistakes. I could have been the one to stand there with him. I could have been the one that woke up in the mornings and saw my Sunshine in front of me. I wanted to hold him in my arms and feel the love inside me overflow. I wanted him to love me, but I knew that it was impossible. Impossible because of the things I've done to him. Everything would have been perfect today if a certain person hadn't shown up some years ago. But my stupidity had made it a lot worse too. If I had been stronger and resist my brother…then I could have been happy this day. I could have woke up and play with my fingers in the golden hair. I could have felt the eternity love. He just _had_ to come home after three years and convinced mom and dad.

"_Why don't you hang out with Itachi? I think you just need to know more about him and then you'll know how kind he really is." _

"_Mom, he's in a criminal gang…" _

"_I'm sure you don't know anything about it. Itachi!" _

"_Yes mom?" _

"_Take your little brother out for a while, he needs fresh air." _

"_With delight." _

I couldn't blame my mom for this but I could have had a chance to escape if she hadn't been there. She had always wanted that her sons would be the perfect brothers. But she hadn't known who Itachi really had been. I thought of the time when my father called me and said that my big brother was dead. I had been relieved because the evil person was out from this world and couldn't hurt anyone more. There was no grief for the lost. I had loved him before, when I was a little child. But I realized that it was impossible to regain that love when his gang threatened me.

"_We're able to kill your monster if you try to make resistance again. But we'll spare his life if you join us. But maybe you don't love him so you don't care." _

The red-haired one was the one who was good at talk. He loved to fear the people around him with his words. I wished that he was dead ,just like Itachi. I wished that his body lay somewhere, maybe in a lake, and was eaten by fishes. I hadn't told Naruto this, that I got black-mailed. But I wished the same thing for me as the man that was eaten by fishes. I didn't have any ideas how to live my life without Naruto and I didn't want to live with someone else either. I would probably find a boring job and buy a poor animal to live with. What else could I do? Naruto was my life but I couldn't have him. I have stay away from him because someone else was worth his love. I love him and wished to best for the one I loved. But I couldn't believe that Naruto was such a strong person. He resisted the love even if he knew that we're belonging to each other. He could resist everything, even my love.


End file.
